So right now I am sitting outside on a beautiful September’s day – which truthfully feels like July – it’s so hot today – I love it! I am eating at a coffee shop and instantly got pulled back to a time in my life where embarrassment would fill my mind when I ate in public – especially when I was alone. I had this feeling that a bunch of you could relate to this and this is why I wanted to focus this blog on it.
I find it so interesting, this whole concept of being embarrassed to eat in public. I had a client yesterday who told me the entire time she was eating that she felt like a fat pig – and this girl was no joke of a lie 40 lbs. underweight.
Though to me it doesn’t matter the size of the person, it’s the beliefs and mental thoughts that someone has towards themselves that I am more concerned about – because feeling like this when it comes to eating can and does affect people of ALL SHAPES AND SIZES. It was so sad to hear her say this about herself, but was even more sad is to know that hundreds of thousands of females (and males) feel this way about themselves when it comes to eating.
Like I have mentioned a few times, in past blogs, is that ED has a way of convincing you to believe that he knows and speaks the absolute truth.
In reality – ED is truthfully just full of shit and has no idea what he is talking about.
Eating – in public or alone does not mean anything except that YOU ARE EATING IN PUBLIC OR ALONE. The only meaning you attach to that act is the meaning that ED attaches to it. A meaning that in my mind is a complete load of shit. A complete lie. Something developed in your mind to ultimately keep you away from your happiness and truly living a life you love living.
THE TRUTH IS…
When you eat you are taking the time to nourish yourself – to give your body what it deserves and needs.
If you are somebody who has a hard time eating in general and has an ED that is more of a restrictive type – telling yourself this is very important – as your ED doesn’t give a shit about being nourished – all he thinks about it that it is TOO MUCH, that its TOO MANY CALORIES – or that you are going to get fat, that you are weak, or that you are greedy if you do eat.
If you have an ED that is more like mine was, which is all about restricting, binging and purging – my purging was through diet teas, diet pills and laxatives –
Then you may not necessarily be scared to eat alone or in public but you probably are terrified after – or feel extreme guilt and embarrassment after feeling like a “fat pig” then.
I was talking with my client about this and for her having “a treat” especially in public made her want to restrict for the rest of that day.
For me, on the other hand, if I had “a treat” or anything that was not considered “perfect” then my ED would convince me that I was a fat piece of shit and needed to prove that thought true by making choices that fit that belief – i.e. would choose foods that were “imperfect” and “bad” all day long.
So why am I bringing all of this up? Because I have nothing better to talk about? No not at all – because I am so sick and tired of everyone feeling so f-in guilty about eating. For people not seeing food as a source of nourishment and pleasure.
For over-analyzing, calorie counting, restricting, binging, purging, dieting, over-exercising all in means to try to control their body shape and size which in turn affects and shifts their relationship with food and furthermore the LENS UPON which one see’s food through.
For that is the real issue in all of this – it is the LENS upon which you see food through that holds all of the ideas around eating in public is bad, or you are fat if you eat that, or its too much, its not enough, its bad, its good, its right, its wrong and the list continues.
So for this week – I want to leave you with a few questions.
- How do you feel when you are eating in public? With others? When you are alone?
- How are you feeling when you are at eating at home? With others? When you are alone?
- Is there a difference between eating alone and public? At home or in public? With others or alone? Why do you think that is?
- How do you currently feel when you eat? How do you want to feel when you eat?
- What has to happen to allow this change to happen?
I suggest to start changing the course of your relationship with food – you answer these questions and begin to take the necessary steps towards starting to challenge your ED to take a back seat while you eat – and allow the love you truly have deep down inside and want for yourself, your body, food and your life to come to the forefront.
Remember you can only think one thought at a time – so why not PURPOSELY CHOOSE thoughts that are in alignment with what you want! I.e.
- I choose to eat because I deserve to nourish my body.
- I choose to eat because I am worthy of what I desire.
Until next week! xoxox
PS. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU EAT AND ARE WITH FOOD
Paula Galli, Hons. BSc. Psych, CNP, RNCP, ROHP
MOTIVATIONAL COACH, NUTRITIONAL COUNSELLOR & EATING DISORDER EXPERT
