Based on last weeks vlog entry I wanted to share with you all an old journal entry of mine. It is all related to fear and how the power of trust helps fear subside.
“Feeling consumed by fear.”
Why you ask?
Because I am not trusting the process of life. My lack of trust causes uneasiness to result, tightening my chest, turning my stomach and making my mind race.I feel my breathe begin to shorten and before you know it – I am yearning to escape, to numb out, to avoid.
Ultimately, to distract myself from those uncomfortable feelings.To me, this is what living with ED (eating disorder) felt like. Where I could not focus, be present or happy about anything in my life as I was anxious and worried of it all.
Extreme control came up as a means to deal with these feelings, as if learning how to control everything would allow these uneasy feelings to disappear.
What I have learned over the years to deal with these issues is much much better…
(1)candles (2)music (3)my journal & a pen
Turning off any electronics that stimulate me (ie. tv, comp) and putting away my phone. Moving whatever else is around that temporarily numbs me & essentially turning in with myself through the methods I have just mentioned.
I am human & because everyday I am choosing to push my boundaries by walking a journey that is very unknown and not set in stone, I am choosing to live in a place where if I want to survive AND BE HEALTHY, I must TRUST.
And the truth of it all is that when I am being someone who trusts I am completely myself, completely disconnected from EGO aka fear.”
How is not trusting in yourself, the process of life or that you are being taken care of by something bigger then you, affecting your life????
