Commentary on Marcy Cole’s Article via Huffington Post

I recently came across a very powerful article that not only inspired me to write this blog, but also hit very close to home. Dr. Marcy Cole, Co-Author, ‘Living Proof: Celebrating the Gifts That Come Wrapped in Sandpaper’ has an interesting (and very accurate) perspective on self-pride and how it should be encouraged amongst others.

In her article, Dr. Cole discusses how oftentimes (with young girls mostly) authentic feelings are not expressed because of the way messages are delivered. For example, rather than someone self-directing their own feelings, they are often told how others make them feel.

Dr. Cole uses the example “I’m so proud of you.” This sentence may seem powerful when said to someone, however it has a more powerful effect on the sender than it does on the receiver. Instead of saying “I’m so proud of you,” Dr. Cole insists on saying “You must be so proud of yourself.” This approach helps the receiver realize that their true compass and locus of truth, approval and love always lies within themselves and not within someone else.

This is something that I too, firmly believe in, and something that I practice with each and every one of my clients. This is why I wanted to share this article. I hope to encourage all of you to consistently use this reflective mirroring back method. Think about it. Hearing a powerful message like that, or saying a powerful message like that to ourselves everyday is a beautiful reminder that we are truly powerful people who are meant to shine.

You can read Dr. Cole’s full article here. And, if you’d like, please leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this inspiring article.

I also invite you to check out my book ‘Weighing Love,’ which was written with the intention to help anyone who is dealing with eating disorders/disordered eating, self-esteem issues, body image issues, and negative thoughts, or for anyone who is trying to reach touch with their authentic self.

Additionally, if you have any further questions, comments or would like to book a 2-hour complimentary coaching session with me, please email me at

Xo Paula